Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dark Phoenix – Famke Janssen


Jean Grey’s naughtier and far more menacing alter ego is Dark Phoenix. Portrayed by the sleek Famke Janssen, Phoenix was always within Grey, locked away since her youth by the follically-challenged Professor X. It was only when Grey sacrificed herself for her comrades-in-black-rubber that her massively potent dark side came to the fore. Phoenix became a class 5 mutant – immensely powerful and awesomely dangerous – quite possibly the most formidable villain ever created. She was only stopped when Wolverine confronted her in X-Men: The Last Stand’s climactic finale and stabbed her in the guts. And what lovely, lovely guts they were. Dark Phoenix was ranked as IGN’s 9th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time (2009).

Lady Deathstrike – Kelly Hu


Like many others in this list, the movie version of Lady Deathstrike traveled a different path to her character in the comics. But we aren’t going to complain when the upside is that we get to look at the delicious Kelly Hu and her lovely, erm, acting talents. This version of Deathstrike is another one of meaty-faced William Stryker’s brainwashed mutants. She shares all the abilities that make Wolverine so goddamn killer: cat-like agility, bear-like strength, regenerative flesh and an adamantium skeleton for good measure. She even has long adamantium fingernails for five-fingered stabby fun. The single thing she lacks, though, (apart from his pointy haircut and stubble) is perhaps Wolvie’s resourcefulness, as despite getting the better of him during their fight scene in X2, Wolverine manages to send her to a metallic demise by giving her a good pumping (with adamantium).

Ursa – Sarah Douglas


Now for a blast from the past. 1980’s Superman II was notable for many reasons. Among them: men with small beards and mascara, men with large beards and mascara and men without beards and only a dab of mascara. But it is perhaps Ursa – the black-clad babealicious bad girl who really got teenage hearts a-racing (and launched a thousand dominatrix fixations). Plus, she helped to take the attention off Christopher Reeve’s I-put-my-pants-on-the-outside-lol look. Which is always good. Nevertheless, clearly being a total misanthropist, Ursa chose to be BFF with these two guys. Maybe it’s the mascara thing.

Jessica Priest – Melinda Clarke


As the Spawn encyclopaedia SpawnWorld.com describes, even as a kid Jessica Priest was a naughty nipper: “Even from early childhood, Jessica Priest was insane. As a young child in upstate Maryland, Jessica lashed out at her parents when they denied her some marshmallows.” Clearly, her parents’ sugary snack-denial helped to forge Priest’s psychotic side: “But whereas a normal child might have simply thrown a tantrum, Jessica snuck into her parents’ bedroom while they were sleeping, doused their bed with lighter fluid and set it ablaze. In the fire, she killed her parents, pets and burned their house down”. The message here is clear: give kids whatever they want: they have matches. After a turbulent childhood, Priest was later molded by Jason Wynn into an extremely dangerous assassin allowing her to indulge her bloodlust. That was nice of him. Though not nearly as nice as Melinda Clarke’s legs while portraying Ms Priest in the 1997 move adaption of the comic. Not by a long shot.

Poison Ivy – Uma Thurman


One of Batman’s most alluring foes, the floraphile (I might have just made that word up, word fans) named Poison Ivy uses her green-fingered guile to go toe-to-toe with Gotham City’s pointy-eared avenger in 1997’s Batman & Robin. Obsessed with all things botany, she utilizes toxins and pheromones for her evil eco-terrorism – and to good effect, as this deadly orchid has snared more than one man with her poison kiss. Sort of like a member of the Sexy Green Peace Paramilitary Wing then (I just made that up, too). If you are lucky enough to get a date with the flame-haired leafy lovely, remember to take a bottle of calamine lotion with you.

T-X – Kristanna Loken


The laconic T-X is quite the gadget. Designed with a variety of deadly onboard weapons systems, exceptional strength and durability, and (like the T-1000) the capacity to change shape at will, it’s easy to see why the T-X is so darn badass that she’s used as an anti-Terminator Terminator. And luckily for us, this genocidal gynoid assassin is all wrapped up in Kristanna Loken’s sweet, sweet flesh and immortalized on celluloid in (Terminator 3) and paper (Beckett Comics published six comics to help market Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines). As the delectable T-X eventually ‘died’ at Arnie’s hands, does this mean he was an anti-anti-Terminator Terminator?

Monday, February 28, 2011

Kate Middleton See-Through Dress Up For Auction


A see-through dress that some Royal Watchers believe played a key role in bringing Kate Middleton to the attention of an admiring Prince William when the pair when college classmates will be auctioned off in London this March.

The fresh-faced future princess wore the transparent gown over black lingerie at a 2002 charity fashion show at the University of St. Andrews. The knitted lace dress was designed by Charlotte Todd, who tapped Middleton to model it at the event nearly nine years ago. Strutting her stuff at the $325-a-ticket charity show, Kate looked hot – Well, as hot as you can look in a crappy-looking slip with your knickers showing through!

It is believed that Kate was still dating fellow student Rupert Finch at the time, while William was rumoured to be romancing close friend Jecca Craig. As the story goes, it didn’t take long for William’s eyes to come out on stalks like an old-school edition of a Looney Tunes cartoon.

The pair became an item in 2004.

The piece of royal history is expected to sell for more than $12,000 when it goes under the hammer next month.